Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Being My Mother's Daughter: Creative Genesis, Culture, and Improving From the Past

Free-swearing, loud, extroverted, crafty, caring, cynical, passionate, and entrepreneurial- that's mom. My childhood wasn't perfect, but I wouldn't take her any other way. I have mom to thank for all the things I love in life: start-ups, thrifting/vintage, garden love, independence, bruja theorizing, sprinkling my vocabulary with perverted expletives and an aggressive attitude. The streets of her sunny San Francisco latino barrio trained her well, but while she would put up her fists I laugh and walk away from conflict....usually. I funnel my inherited assertiveness into business instead.

Late 70s, my mom & her mom. She died before I could meet her but I'm told I share her mom's love of horror films.

And my lifelong Prince and Michael Jackson obsession- She Get it From Her Mama! Blame her, everyone stuck in one of my eternal MJ or Prince debates and listening marathons. Those two along with Motown and Disco were the soundtrack of my childhood.

Mom's mysterious, it seems like once-a-year I get a new revelation from her colorful past; filled with enough tragedy, romance, and colorful Mexican tradition to make a wildly entertaining novel. "They made tortillas all day long, all of them fat, none of them very pretty," she recounts, brutally frank as always, one of her many visits to Mexico. She says it and I'm there with her, picking cactus fruit to cook with eggs for breakfast. This year I hope she'll disclose more as we support each other to build a stable, creative future.

I love you mom, thank you for a childhood filled with thrifting, gardening and making. There were ample cartoons and goofy antics. (Stand-out memories: bringing snow down from Mt. Vesuvius to throw at the neighbors, dressing our cat in baby doll pajamas, driving down the side of an active volcano with a snowman on the car hood- all mom's ideas.) You never discouraged me from being the weird, nerdy person I am. Instead, fostering fierce independence and an emphasis on intelligence and education. I was urged from a young age to break unfortunate Hispanic "traditions", like depending on a man or getting pregnant young. (Never! I'm  also the first-known female in my family to live alone.) We've inherited some bad habits, too, like our Crippling Self Critique, but there's time to shatter that standard, too. Let's hit it, mom. Pop in the Prince and Diana Ross, let's do what we always do: Make Shit Happen!

What lessons did you learn from your mom? Happy Mothers Day to all you moms out there, you're more important than you know. I'm impressed with everything you do, and I'm sure I'm not the only one that learned lessons on frugality and thriftiness from mom!
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25 comments:

  1. Inspiring and lovely tribute! I'd say the most important things my mom gave to me was a love of learning and a fierce sense of independence.

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    1. Oh I forgot that one, my mom always encouraged me to be study hard, read, and value intelligence. May have to add that in there. ;)

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  2. Oh Van, I love this post. You look so much like your Mom and your grandma likes horror movies? That's awesome. I'm glad you appreciate them so much. My mom is in assisted living now with dementia. It has made me appreciate each day she is here more but I also live with many regrets from not spending as much time as I wish I would have with her when she was healthy.

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    1. Yeh I cut a bit about our copy-pasted faces ;) My grandma liked them, traumatized my mom a bit making her watch The Exorcist. Thanks for sharing the story about your mom, I'm sorry to hear that.

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  3. Oh, this is so sweet! It makes me think of my mom, too...how I've learned so many of my habits from her and she's always been my number one cheerleader for anything. Now that I think of it, my love for vintage probably came from her too, just different decades. I don't know what I would do without her!

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    1. Same on vintage love, though she has a traditional more "shabby chic" style :) She hates mid century modern, if she hates it she knows I'll love it and scoops it up for me while thrifting.

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  4. Nice post! You do look a lot like your mother!

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    1. I'm surprised the resemblance shows to readers since I'm rarely seen on the site :)

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  5. Funny your grandma made your mom watch The Exorcist. My mom wouldn't let me watch it, but I did anyway because everyone else was. It scared the crap out of me and she got to use her "I told you so" and "you don't have to do what everyone else does" bits.

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    1. My mom wouldn't let me watch it because her mom traumatized her with it as a kid. Just stills from it freak me out, I've yet to see it but want to this year. At a special place :)

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    2. It's a great movie Van! You must see it.

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    3. I'm so excited :D Seriously can't wait, saving it for this little horror theatre in a horror museum that has an exorcist room for maximum scares. I wrote about it, "The Wold Museum" in St. Augustine.

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  6. Looking at your Mom and you standing by your bike, the resemblance is obvious. Lovely! Love this post featuring your Mom. My Mom taught me her love of antiques and had a great strength and work ethic, being a single Mom with 2 daughters. We all have so many things to be thankful to our moms for. I can just see that snowman on your car. Sounds like you enjoyed great adventures. :)

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    1. I can't see it in those two photos in particular but in person, yep, twins. :D The snowman had pine straw for hair, haha

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  7. The stuff I learned from my mom....good lord, if I put them to action, I would be in jail! Haha. My mom was a crazy hippie badass power woman! There was never a person who met her who didn't love her. She maybe wasn't the best mom...and she definitely made a lot of mistakes, but it all turned out okay, because it all made me who I am today and I like how I turned out. She was the strongest person I know. She took care of my very ill bed ridded dad for 10 years, starting when she was just my age...changing feeding tubes, and bed sores. With electricity being turned off and bill collectors calling everyday. She quit drinking cold turkey. Just one day said "Im done drinking" She quit smoking,cold turkey, just one day said, "Im done smoking" Went through menopause and being a young widow with no help and had to deal with living with two teenagers (me and bro) and being penniless. I don't know how she made it. She died 4 years ago, and at that time you could just tell,she had no fight left in her. She was tired and done. So I inherited her tough skin and perseverance. Unfortunately, I also inherited her love of food:-) BTW You look just like your mom! What a cool lady she sounds like.

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    1. btw...haha,...that album sold in less than 24 hours after listing it. For $12! Who would have thunk it!

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    2. Aw, your mom sounds awesome! Thanks for sharing the story :) We were poor but not penniless, my parents, especially mom, was suuuper resourceful and we never did without.

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    3. Yep I inherited mom's love of food too, as hinted in the tortilla story ;)

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  8. Beautiful! You look so much like your mom. Such lovely ladies inside and out!

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  9. Your mom sounds like a great inspiration
    Retro rover

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  10. This is awesome <3 I learned about real love and dedication from my mom---that it's the time and effort and care that someone shows you during good, but more importantly, the bad times. Plus, no one will ever drive you crazy like your mom bwahahahahaha!

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    1. Aw, that's so sweet :D Luckily my mom hasn't driven me crazy in a long time. Give it time. Bwahaha!

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